Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017!

From Mara: 2016 is over. My daughter Malia used to complain that the years were so long, and I tried to explain why a year seems so short to an adult. When she was two years old, a year was 50% of her life. But now that I’m 42, a year is only 2.3% of my life. 

The years now feel as if they rush past. Except for 2016! I had a rough year. Honestly, I’m not sad to see 2016 go. So in the spirit of having fun, my mom and I are each going to list three things from 2016 that we will not be sad to see the back of, and then list three New Year’s Resolutions that we’re unlikely to keep (but it’s fun to pretend). Do you have any resolutions for 2017? Comment below!

Mara: 

Things I will not miss about 2016:

1. My dog’s seriously stinky breath. My dog Pidu’s breath smelled like one of two things: a-small-animal-is-dying-in-my-mouth or I’ve-been-eating-dog-poop. It was horrible. But it was a major procedure to get his teeth cleaned. They needed to do tests and put him under for an operation, so I’d been avoiding it. We finally did it a couple of months ago. Now his breath is, well, it’s still dog breath, but it’s normal dog breath instead. I will NOT miss Pidu’s 2016 breath!

2. Our old oven. In 1999 we bought an oven when we moved from London back to LA. Well, early in 2016 that same oven started not heating to the temperature we’d set it to. We’d turn the dial to, say, 350 degrees, but it would suddenly set itself to 220 degrees. We developed all kinds of crazy methods of getting the oven to “stick” to the right temperature: if we pushed the dial in it would stick; if we hit the oven it in the right spot it would stick; if we turned the dial the opposite way it would stick...sometimes. The problem was that if we touched the oven in the wrong way, it would suddenly pop back to 220 degrees. We finally decided we were no longer amused by trying to guess what temperature our food was cooking at, so we got a new oven. Hurrah.

3. My fuzzy pants. Ok, this is a lie, I will miss my fuzzy pants. For many years (12 in fact) I've had these 6 pairs of velour fuzzy pants that I do everything in. EVERYTHING. But they're very worn now. They've been loved. They're the Velveteen Rabbit of pants. But... I've decided I'm going to wear other things. Actually I have to wear other things because I can't get more of these exact fuzzy pants and they're all about to get a hole in the bottom. Plus, I have an office job now and need to wear clothes that are actually meant to be worn in public and make me look like I know what I'm doing. So, 2004-2016 was the fuzzy pants era. 2017 shall be the post-fuzzy pants era.

Fuzzy pants in 2006 and 2012 (at Disneyland)

New Year’s Resolutions I doubt I’ll keep in 2017:

1. I might or might not take multivitamin every day. Taking a vitamin seems like it should be doable, but if history has proven anything, it’s that I don’t take them. There are probably a dozen times in my life when I have tried to make myself take vitamins regularly. I do it for a month and then I stop. Maybe I forget, or maybe I have a valid reason. One time I stopped when my urine turned a strange looking green. Another time I stopped because the vitamins tasted so bad. I can’t even remember why I stopped all the other times. But 2017 can and WILL be the year of the multivitamin. Maybe.

2. I’m thinking 2017 should probably be the year I clean out my closet and get rid of all the things I haven’t worn for years. Literally years. But I really don't want to, so I probably won't. But I should. Maybe I will. I give myself about a 50% chance on this one.

3. In 2017, I will not obsessively stop and get gas. I hate getting gas even though I have no idea why. It's not as if I have to dig through the crust of the earth to get the oil, but it always feels like a burden. Because I dislike getting gas so much, I think I tend to obsess all the time about whether or not I need it. As a result, my tank never gets below half empty. In short, I'm constantly stopping for gas or wondering if I should stop for gas. Well, I'm going to stop the madness. 2017 will be the year of getting gas like a regular not-gas-obsessed person! (LOL, I will probably still stop for gas all time! Has to be better than forgetting to stop for gas, right?)

Toni: 

Things I will not miss about 2016:

1. Having election news hitting me like a pie in the face 24/7. 

2. The battle of the pills. I spent a lot of time in 2016 struggling with the side-effects of various anti-breast cancer recurrence drugs. One medication made my joints so stiff that my fingers would literally get stuck on one position, and sometimes I couldn’t stand up because my knees were too stiff. Another medication caused a depression so debilitating that that I couldn’t care less about life and I didn’t want to do anything (both of those being highly uncharacteristic of me). I spent a huge amount of time last year researching these medications and (over and over) weighing their benefits given my particular case against their side-effects and risks (risks such as osteoporosis and blood clots). I do not want to re-live this aspect of 2016!

3. Cable News. We broke up in early November and it made the last two months of 2016 much more pleasant! 

New Year’s Resolutions I doubt I’ll keep in 2017:

1. I will stop complaining (she says, complaining about complaining!). It feels unpleasant and it rarely gets me what I want. I suspect, however, that I won’t get far into 2017 without those pesky complaints making their way into my life.

2. I will drink two quarts of water a day. I make this resolution every year. Every year, I don’t keep it.

3. I will go through each room in the house and give half its contents to Goodwill. Why do I even bother to make this resolution? It’s a non-starter.

Note from Mara: Amazon.com just started this very cool thing where after you take stuff you ordered out of the Amazon box, you put things to donate into it, print out a shipping label from them, and they will ship it to the nearest Goodwill center for free! So maybe here's a resolution you can make and keep, go mom! Click here to find out more!